i first start this blog to share some positive energy in my life and recently i realize the past few posts are so pathetic and full of complains about the wrongs of my life.
I dont have any excuses about that but now i have to tell myself to change and try to see the wonderful in the world and live.
for the last 2 weeks i ve been having insomnia, it is not because i drank too much coffee or anything ( i quit coffee for like 2 wks now) . I only thought it was stress until 2 days ago , i came down with a really bad flu and fever.( Just for ur information, i had a fever only 1 month ago and back to uni, i only got sick once a year and i drunk,smoke and clubbing all the time)
The i realize i never admit to myself that my anxiety is actually taking over. i never thought my anxiety is this serious, i guess my body did realize it .
i dont really know what to do but actually live more positively from now on, surround myself with good energy .
for once , i will have a thank u note everyday to see the good in all the bad of my life.
i know i am scared of so many things .
I dont trust anyone but myself not even my parents.
i told myself every time my life couldn’t get any worse but life just kept having me in the most challenging position.
i worried i would never be successful and employed again, an i even though through when i want to die and wrote a suicide note already. For now， nothing is changed but an adult realization.
i have thought of giving up but the little self-esteem i have in me kept me going for so long .
Today, i want to thank myself for holding on for this long.
ANd i will say this to myself , u r gonna to be okay just hold on.