Reasons for absence

i could have blamed the craziness between China and South Korean .

Or even the depressing yet artistic pics of the former president in Jail .

However, as my therpist told me, i should always tell the truth

So the reasons are the good old depression issues.

It seems like i can’t get anything creative or relatable while i am on an emotional roller coster

surely, the finale of ‘Big Little Lies’ or  binging watching ” 13 reasons Why’ is no help

But i would like to think writing is more of my treatment

so shall we move on ……


They are getting better with our age
They lied  in between with  the ideal of self respect and vanity
they are something i discovered as the beauty of life
they healed our broken heart while we r in hell or could 
they become a major part of our lives until we start to live in a illusion
The more we tell the less real we became

One day we wake up to believe all the lies we tell

Then we became better at avoiding the truth

Then we start to giving up on things we used to know and the self we used to own

no matter how many lies we tell and how real they felt

in the end ,it is just a faded image that keeps our ego going in the light of reminding who we are

I’m okay; I’m happy;I’m successful;I’m real;I’m……
all the fine lies we tell…
Then when will it stop?
it is the questions we will never ask

we would rather living in lies than face the harsh truth that we learned about our self

It does not  last long with others.

But we end up creating a whole story around lies

And it goes on and on until we can’t  tell whats real 


It is the best thing in the world

It is one’s desire 

when u hold on to it , u r the richest one on earth

when u try to search it, u r just as foolish as all of us 

It is something u thought u could have and u need

it becomes one’s destination where u stop  chasing

U though u need it but  in the end it is just an pretty illusion of giving up

in the end, it is the one thing to keep us form being the best version of our self

Don’t waste time on it since it is just like another impulsive affair

Try work till late of the night instead of drinking till u get inspired

It is the  most toxic  of all              

I once pray for the luck of the century  only because i want to live a easy life

Until the day i realise i never had it

i once thought  it belongs to those i despise 

Now i Know i am the one i despise and stop believing

It blurs ur vision and makes u believe the others only success with the help of luck

In the end , it is the strength and diligence make the magic 

If it is not too late  then please release me from Luck

And create my very own magic  with my power 

Pain(고통 ….

It is something you can see but effected u more than anything…
They r invisible but everywhere…
It is in different kinds of forms it is like air But u try so hard to escape….
Some people may say it is just an illusion ……
And u still keep asking yourself how can i get over it…..
It is that type of ex u can not just drink  away or forget…..
It is like quicksand the more you struggle the deeper you r in……
It is unlimited until you decide to go with it and even work with it…………

그래서, 아무것이나 괜찮아.